Where'd My Life Go?!

Ok, I'll make this brief.  I'd like to tell you why I didn't write a column last month.

Have you ever had a period in your life where nearly every single aspect of life as you knew it changed, quite suddenly?

The reason I didn't write a column last month is that I have returned to being a recreation therapist for an adult daycare center.  Yes -- it's true.  I have gone from being a reflexologist and meditation facilitator to being something like a cruise director/standup comedian for eight hours a day.  Yikes.

I used to joke that it was 'my job to be relaxed'.  And it was true!

Now, it's 'my job' to be energetic, uplifting, spontaneous, and creative.  All day.  Whether I feel like it or not.  The question that I have to ask myself at the end of every day is "did I have fun today?"  Because if I didn't have fun, I can guarantee that the 30+ elderly people I spent the day with didn't have fun either!

The really odd thing about all this is that I now could easily be on the other side of the Meditation Fence -- saying "Look, I just don't HAVE TIME TO MEDITATE!"  And I really don't have much time.  Plus, I'm living in the land of High Energy, all day long -- not so easy to come down from.

Still, an interesting thing has happened:  I've realized that I simply don't have time to get too far out of whack, or it will show up at work immediately, like an avalanche.  So, yeah, maybe my Happy Dance has been cut back to 5 minutes -- but I always do it.  And I take those 3 minutes at lunch to put my legs up on the couch and chant.  Or I go in my office and take five deep breaths and clap my hands.  I've found a hundred new ways to 'push my reset button', almost instantly -- and yes, some of them involve chocolate.  I also find that I'm using my time super efficiently -- because I don't have time not to.  My huge intention to live a joyful, centered, intentional life seems to have carried through into this Giant Change, and is leaking out all over everything -- even though outwardly, it would seem that my life is now the antithesis of what it was two months ago.  Pretty interesting.  

So, I'll say it again, with even more conviction -- don't tell me that you don't have time to meditate!!!  In truth, you don't have time not to.  Yeah, well -- let's see what I'm saying in another three months, ok?

Love, MJ

The Best Job Ever

Adam's tiny traveling house

On the heels of Mother's Day, and with Father's Day just ahead, it seems a good time to reflect on parenting. 

A few days ago, my only child (who is not a child at all) drove down the road pulling the awesome trailer pictured here, heading to Oregon with his fiancee -- and I feel certain of only one thing:  being a mother is the best and most important job I've ever done or ever will do, and everything else is just frosting.

Mothering is probably the only area of my life  that I've always had complete confidence in; don't mess with my kid, I will eat you alive, I am a lioness!  I would stand in front of a train for my son, without a thought!  I have made a number of dramatic decisions and changes in my past life, which were all run through the filter of parenting.  It was always clear to me what was best for us -- what was not acceptable -- what needed to be done -- what needed to change.  I've done some really brave things that I would never have had the nerve to do if it was 'just me'.  I never wanted to look back and regret that I wasn't there for Adam, or that I'd exposed him knowingly to something that might hurt him in some way.

And looking back, I have no regrets at all.  Now it seems to be the time for me to turn that mother lioness eye on myself -- and wonder why I'd ever consider allowing anything in my own life that I would never have allowed for my son, for a minute.  I also now have the unknown territory of making decisions that are truly just for me -- and I'd thought I was already doing that!  So, I'll just keep practicing, and calling up that mother-lioness-feeling of what is best for me -- and I invite you to do the same!  Meanwhile, I'll be planning my first trip to Oregon ... 

Love from the hammock,
MJ

I love how it feels when ...

So, let's talk about affirmations! (affirmation: a present tense, positive, personal statement that is repeated frequently to oneself)  Even if you've never purposely used an affirmation, you can well imagine how ridiculous and fraudulent you might feel if you were saying to yourself "I am thin, I am healthy, I am prosperous, I am successful at xyz, I am relaxed and peaceful, I am super-fantabulous" -- especially if you were feeling about a hundred miles away from any of that stuff being the truth!!  

Here's an easy way to bring yourself much closer to actually feeling that all that positive stuff could possibly be true for you -- simply add the words "I love how it feels when ..."!  

Feel the difference between these two thoughts:

I am healthy and eating mindfully.  (Yeah, right!  Self-worth plummets as you reach for a Twinkie.)

I love how it feels when I am healthy and eating mindfully.  (Yeah, I really do!  And I've felt that way before!  Grabbing an apple as you head out the door to walk the dog.)

Cool, eh?  Adding "I love how it feels when ..." allows for the fact that you may not feel that way at the moment, but also acknowledges that at some point you have felt that way.  Now, if you know me at all, you know that I like to cover as many bases as possible with my meditations and mindfulness habits, so I have of course turned this into a fabulous phrase that takes care of absolutely everything:

I love how it feels when all aspects of my life reflect who I really am.  Yeah, baby!  The great thing about that phrase is that it comes into my head when something really good happens -- and when things don't seem to be going so well.  Bases covered, yippee!

And why do we even want to bother with all this stuff?  Because we get what we expect.  So, I'm keeping a darned close eye on what I'm expecting.  I'm fond of saying that "I'm in a highly anticipatory state, despite the lack of physical evidence for it".  Hee hee.  

Happy Spring!  Redwing blackbirds -- forsythia -- skunk cabbage -- ah, yes!  
Love from the hammock --
MJ

Chocolate Kiss Mindfulness

Mmmmm.  Sounds good, eh?  We did this little exercise in my meditation group last month, and it was, not surprisingly, yummy.  It takes about two minutes.

First, you'll need a chocolate kiss, or small piece of chocolate, or anything sweet that will melt in your mouth.  Just one.

Now, look it over admiringly and inhale the fragrance.

Place it purposefully in your mouth.  Close your eyes and let your lovely morsel roll around on your tongue.  NO BITING!  Let it melt, taking as long as you can to enjoy and savor the fabulousness of it.

Take a deep breath.  Maybe add a smile.

Mmmmm.  That's it!  If you have sworn off of sugar, you can try grapes or small pieces of fruit (just make sure you chew slowly and mindfully!!) -- anything delectable will do.

A very good example of how "a little goes a long way", hmmm?  Yikes, I hate to admit how often I find myself jamming food mindlessly into my mouth!!  Ah yes, opportunities for mindfulness abound!  And it's a darned good excuse to eat some chocolate, too.  Being in the present moment is somehow a little easier with something sweet.  

Don't forget, you are all most welcome to attend my next Adventures in Meditation group, Thursday, April 11th, 7:15 pm at the Shoreline Center.  It's free!

Happy Spring!  Yippee!  The hammock is coming back out next weekend, yeah!

Love, MJ

The Mona-Lisa-Smile-Instant-Mood-Changer

Here is the simplest little mood shifter you'll ever come across:

Please take a good look at the Mona Lisa's smile.  Got it?  Now, all you have to do is allow a tiny half-smile to spread across your lips -- not much more than a smirk -- and then, shift your eyes slightly to the left (that's the most important part).  Hold that for a few seconds, and maybe take a few deep, slow breaths.

Did you feel that?!  Kind of like having a really great secret and being in love with the whole world, just for a minute?  

I find it almost absurd that this can make me feel so great, almost instantly.  And so odd that looking straight ahead and smiling does not produce the same feeling at all!  Perhaps there is some grand scientific explanation for this ... but meanwhile, it is my simple gift to you.  And you can take it with you everywhere, and do it anytime you like -- how great is that?  

Maybe Mona Lisa really does know something we don't -- but we can practice it!  Life is often soooo much simpler than we make it, don't you think?

Love & (nearly) Springtime Hugs,

MJ

Happy Dance

Hi ho, winter warriors!  I'd like to share a little bit about my Happy Dance -- my own particular morning meditation, which involves listening to certain uplifting songs and dancing and flailing my arms about wildly, until I'm in a rather ecstatic state of what I like to refer to as 'spiritual hysteria'.  I do this for about twenty minutes every morning, NO MATTER WHAT.

Basically, what I'm doing is practicing where I'd like to be, and how I'd like to feel, more of the time.  My musical lineup has changed a lot over the last 14 years -- when I first started doing this (rather accidentally), I listened to the same song every day for 10 years, no kidding!!  Now, I'm more likely to tire of a song after a few months -- and I just keep my ears open for the next wildly uplifting song, because I know that a new one will be on the way!  

It's almost like a form of hypnotherapy -- I find a song that I LOVE, and that I can't wait to listen and dance to, and then by listening to it repeatedly, I essentially train myself to go straight to a blissful joy place without even trying.  And it works, no matter what is going on in my life.  Not necessarily a conventional form of meditation, but woo hoo, does it work for me!

Thanks to my new Australian friend, Joseph Green, for bringing my latest Happy Dance song to my attention -- take two minutes to listen to Peponi by the Piano Guys and Alex Boye by  clicking here -- and feel free to jump up and wave those arms wildly, of course!  And remember, a happy dance for you is a happy dance for everybody.  Or something like that.

Love & Giant Hugs,

MJ

On Vulnerability

Vulnerable:  susceptible to emotional injury; open to censure or criticism.  My new 'V' word of the moment.

On Dec. 12th, someone smashed the window of my car and took my reflexology bag, along with my iPod dock.  On Dec. 14th, the shootings in Newtown happened.  On Dec. 19th, a very nice man named Val crashed his truck into my car, while he was being waved across two lanes of traffic (the insurance agent referred to it as 'the wave of death').  

What do these events have in common?  They all brought a feeling of extreme vulnerability up front and center in me.  Suddenly, I was walking around feeling like an eggshell; like anything could just happen to me at any moment, whether I wanted it to or not.  I hadn't felt like that since I lost my house in a tornado.  I knew that this feeling would pass -- because it's always true that anything can happen in any moment, but we really can't walk around thinking this constantly or we'd be paralyzed with fear all the time!  Still, I didn't want the feeling to 'just pass' -- I wanted to somehow let these things be meaningful in my life, and not just be 'bad events'.  

The point became not WHAT HAPPENED, but -- what am I going to DO with what happened?  We define events as 'bad' simply because something happened that we did NOT want to happen -- yet we still have a choice about how we handle it all.

The car stuff was easy.  Everything was covered by insurance.  I realized that I really didn't like my iPod dock all that much, and would be happy to have a reason to pick out a new one.  Val, the man who crashed into me, was incredibly nice, assumed total liability, and all I had to do was drop off my car at the auto body shop and pick up the rental car.  I called him and thanked him for being so gracious about it, and told him that it was 'almost nice to meet him'. I had as much fun as I could with the police, insurance agents, and car repair people.  It was almost an enjoyable experience.

As for the shooting of little children and adults in Newtown -- what can we all do with that?  Obviously, it's something that no one would ever, ever wish for.  No one would ever say, "yes, it's okay that that happened".  Still, we have a choice.  How will we let it change us?  How will we let it affect our thoughts, words and actions?  Since we can't undo it -- how will we let it be meaningful in our lives?  How will we let it make us better people?

Making ourselves vulnerable -- to hurt, to failure, to rejection, to injury -- also means being our most authentic selves.  Our most imperfect, genuine, delicate, courageous, wonderful selves.  This is one of the reasons that the events in Newtown stir us so deeply -- children are the most vulnerable of us -- and also, by far, the most authentically themselves.  

Please ask yourself now -- what risks have you not taken because you were afraid of failure, of rejection, of being vulnerable?  And if you took those risks -- how might others be affected?  How might the world be a better place?  How might your vulnerability and courage enrich the lives of others in ways that you can't even imagine?  Let's take this opportunity, this gift, into our hearts, let ourselves be more vulnerable, more authentic -- and not be left wondering what life might have been like if we'd only had the courage to show up and let ourselves be seen.

Happy, happy, happy New Year.  It's going to be AMAZING.

Lovelovelove,

MJ

Please do me a favor ...

Seriously, would you please do me a favor?  Yes, it's true -- I've written a meditation book (similar to my meditation booklet, but longer and much cooler) and I am now diligently working on The Book Proposal, which is similar to writing a thesis, Lord help me!  Then it's off to the publisher and we'll see what happens.

So, this is where you come in:  if you've gotten something helpful from one of my columns, or my booklet, or one of my classes or talks, or from my humble presence on the planet, please take just a minute now to write me a Glowing Testimonial of some sort.  Just send an email to mjinsync@yahoo.com, or simply click here.  Please include your full name, as well as your town/state/country.  I hope to overwhelm the editor with pages and pages of outrageous endorsements, making it very clear that they would be entirely crazy not to publish my book.

Fingers crossed.  I'll never ask anything from you again -- except to buy the book, ha ha!

And, just so you don't feel cheated out of a column this month, consider this:  If you make your goal the journey (instead of the endpoint), you will have instant success.  Think about it.

Love & thanks,

MJ

The Wonders of Worrying

The fabulous and insightful Mark Twain once said, "I've had many worries in my life, most of which never happened."

Think about it.  Most of the worrying we do never comes to pass -- thankfully, I might add.  And certainly, no good ever comes of worrying.  Ever.

Here's another angle on it, if you'd like to bring the Law of Attraction and physics into it:

Worrying is not only pointless, if we do it persistently enough, it's highly detrimental to our lives and our dreams.  Worrying is using your imagination to create what you do not want.

Again, for good measure!  Worrying is using your imagination to create what you do not want.

That's pretty much it.  Here's to using our imaginations to create what we DO want!!  Yeah!

Big Love,
MJ
p.s.  Adventures in Meditation is now FREE!  Next meeting will be Thurs. Oct. 11th at 7:15 pm, The Shoreline Center for Wholistic Health, 35 Boston St., Guilford.  See you there!

Being Present

I read something recently that basically said:  If you are sad or depressed, your mind is in the past.  If you are anxious or worried, your mind is in the future.  If you are peaceful and content, your mind is in the present moment.  

And that, my friends, is why we practice meditation.  When we meditate, we are practicing being in the present moment.  Just for this hour, just for this minute, just for this second, everything is really okay.  If we can string a bunch of those moments together, life starts to feel and look pretty damned good.  All it takes is practice.  Simple, right?!  

Sometimes we may have something happening to us -- work, relationships, finances, health -- that is so overwhelmingly out of control, we'd like to just jump off a bridge.  At those times, all we really have to turn to is the present moment.  If we can give ourselves a five minute break from trying to figure it all out while in a state of upset and panic, our lives can begin to heal and blossom in ways that are no less than magical.  We can take that jump off the bridge -- but let's do it in our mind and spirit, yes?

Just a reminder, 'meditation' can look like anything you want it to:

Singing, chanting, dancing, cloud-watching, petting the dog, exercising, gardening, appreciating anything, cooking, cleaning the house, driving to work while listening to your favorite album, counting your steps while taking a walk, making art, making music, making love, making eggplant parmesan.  It's anything at all that lets you practice Being In the Present Moment, where all is well.

It may be annoying, but it's true:  practice does make perfect.

With love & giant hugs,

MJ

p.s.  In the spirit of good-will and harmony, my monthly Adventures in Meditation group is now free!  Yippee!  Bring your family and friends!  See you on Thurs., Sept. 13th at 7:15 pm. The theme this month will be Grace.  

Tornado Appreciation

Everybody's got a story, right?  Well, I've got a good one that I'd like to share.  A few weeks ago was the 23rd anniversary of the Hamden Tornado -- a significant event for me, because I lost my house during it.  Well, not the whole house, just the top of it.  And I suppose it wasn't exactly lost, but it was redistributed around the neighborhood in a very disconcerting manner, for sure.  It was an F4 tornado, with 300 mph winds that came down the chimney and sucked the roof right off.  While we were in it.

That experience turned out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  Seriously.

I found out a whole bunch of things about myself that I might never have known otherwise.  I found out how I react in a true emergency -- I ran into the cellar with my 3 year old son and shielded him under a doorway until it was over -- about 5 very long minutes.  I was the fierce mother lion protecting her young until a few hours later when we drove our shattered car up my mother's driveway to safety -- and I became completely hysterical for the only time in my life (so far).

I found out that losing nearly everything you owned was not such a bad thing.  I experienced enormous gratitude for the fact that no one was hurt -- not even my cat, who hid inside the dryer.  The fact that we had no home, little clothing, that most of our possessions were either sucked away or imbedded with glass, meant very little.  We were alive!

And -- my apparently relentless positive nature came to the forefront.  Within about two days of the event, I became irrationally excited.  I felt like I'd won the lottery!  If something this big and unexpected could just happen out of nowhere -- well, surely something fabulous was going to come of it.  I just knew it.  It was just too big to be meaningless or random.

As a result of the tornado, we were able to finally buy our own house with the renter's insurance money we received.  That was a dream come true for me, a dream that had been, until then, completely out of reach.  My son then grew up on a little Beaver Cleaver street and we walked to school together every day.  I met friends that I have to this day, that I likely wouldn't have met otherwise.  I learned really quickly that we don't need to be attached to our possessions at all -- there is always more stuff out there.  And that it doesn't hurt you a bit to lose nearly everything you own, it's actually quite cathartic!  Plus, I have enormous respect for the weather, and defer to it at all times.

Without the tornado, my life would likely have been very different.  Is it better?  I'll never know, but I think so.

The biggest life lesson from this event turned out to be:  it's not what happens to you that counts; it's what you DO with what happens to you that really matters.  I may not have had any control over that event in my life, but I did have a choice about how I reacted to it.

Twenty-three years later, I'm still working on applying that to everything else in life!  Simple, right?!

Right now, I'm choosing the hammock!

Love, MJ

p.s.  For those nearby, my monthly guided meditation group, Adventures in Meditation, begins again on Thurs. August 9th at 7:15 pm, at the Shoreline Center for Wholistic Health.  Please visit my classes & events page for details!  

Food Meditation

Yesterday, I picked the first peas from our garden.  There were only about twenty pods ready, not much more than a big handful when shelled, so I threw them in the boiling water with the linguine near the end, and cooked them for just a few minutes.  I put a huge amount of basil (also from the garden) in with a fresh chunky tomato and onion and garlic sauce, and another fabulous dinner was born.

Some of you may know that I have a huge vegetable garden -- it measures 40 x 30 feet and takes up most of my backyard.  We also have a little barn, and now jokingly call our place "The Farmette".  At this point in the year, there's not much ready for eating yet -- a lot of greens; collards, kale and chard -- and we're trying to eat up all the various lettuces before they all start bolting in the heat.  Many plants, when left to their own devices, will make flowers eventually, unless you interrupt the process by eating it, and lettuce is no different.  Once lettuce starts shooting up to the sky and making flowers, it turns bitter.  Fortunately, my husband doesn't care; he eats anything.

This year, we got a really good handle on the weed situation and put down newspaper with salt hay on top, over every bare inch of soil.  This is a miserable job to do, but then you can basically sit back with a glass of wine for the rest of the summer and watch everything grow and daydream about what wonderful meals you'll be flitting about the kitchen concocting spontaneously, depending on what needs to be eaten that day.  

When I buy veggies at the supermarket, I just don't have the same respect and reverence for them as for the ones that I grow myself.  If I forget about them and they start rotting away, I just throw them out or give them to the dog to gnaw on.  It was completely different with those peas yesterday;  I wanted to eat them appreciatively and reverently, which may sound kind of flakey and dramatic -- but how can you help but acknowledge the entire life cycle of something that you've watched exuberantly growing from day one?!  It's no different than any other living thing.  

Time in the dirt is essential for our well-being, I think.  Observing life cycles reminds us that we can't force things to be complete before they are ready.  Everything simply takes as long as it takes.  Can't pick the peas before they're ready.  We just have to trust the process and let go of trying to control everything.  So far, we've got cabbage worms galore (courtesy of those cute little white butterflies you see everywhere), one of the artichoke plants just disappeared without a trace, and about 95% of the apples inexplicably fell off of both apple trees when they were the size of golf balls.  So, we'll read up on things and maybe next time, it'll go a little better.  Meanwhile, I'm dreaming about basil, tomato and cucumber salads; grilled eggplant; pesto; and eating our own corn on the cob.  Fingers crossed.

Go plant something -- it's good for you!

Love & hugs from the hammock -- 

MJ

Community

I had a really interesting experience over Memorial Day Weekend.  My high school music & drama department had a 30 year reunion, spanning over 5 graduating years.  I had not seen many of the people who came (about 25 of us) during that 30 years!

Yet there they were, at Friday night rehearsal in my living room, as if only a year or two had gone by.  I was in utter shock looking around at these (gracefully aging) faces, listening to us belt out the Hallelujah Chorus once again!  (Apologies to my neighbors, although I don't think that we were that bad.)  It was absolutely amazing.

The next day, we gathered at our former high school for the day -- more rehearsing, eating, talking, screaming, laughing, and finally ending with a performance, with two group choir pieces and a number of solos and heartrending speeches.

It was one of the best times I can recall in a very long time.  And I really felt like I wanted to figure out why and bring as much of that forward into my current life as I can.

First, as I was looking around my living room at the now 50 year old faces, I could very clearly see their 18 year old selves there, also.  It really brought home the fact that we are not our ages.  We've certainly bloomed at this point (and hopefully will continue to do so!) -- there's much more to us now -- yet that presence of our younger selves was entirely clear!  I vowed to try and remember that about everyone I meet, not just the people that I've known since childhood.  We weren't born at 30 or 45 or 60 or 80, there's a child still there in all of us!

Second, the sense of community was just fabulous.  Being in a group with a common goal -- doing something to the best of your ability, coordinating that with the efforts of others, and then giving something back to the world -- what's better than that?  I felt really grateful for learning that early on, and it also reminded me of the different ways that I've created community in my life currently.  And it inspired me to be open to some new ways, too!  

Third, I actually sang a solo for the first time in my life -- a parody of "I'm in the Mood for Love" (a la Allan Sherman).  It got a lot of laughs, and I felt kind of like a (very) unpolished Carol Burnett.  I doubt I'll ever do it again, but it allowed me to check something important off of my To Do List.  I'll never have to regret that I didn't try it!

So, I'm really grateful for community -- in my family, in my neighborhood, with my friends, with my pets, in my garden.  At my office.  In my meditation groups, and at my talks.  And for who knows what lies ahead!  I'm open to it!  Without community and connection, I'm not sure we can ever really get a sense of who we are or what we have to offer.

Anybody know of a nice local choir in need of an alto with a good sense of humor?

Group hug,

MJ

p.s.  Community Alert!!  Don't miss the last kirtan (call & response chanting) for the summer -- this Thursday, June 7th, 7:15 pm at the Shoreline Center for Wholistic Health, 35 Boston St., Guilford!  Andrew and Jamie are going to be off adventuring in Alaska soon and we won't see them again 'til fall.  Come share the love!!

On Being Self-full

How much time do you spend in a day trying to make other people happy?  Trying to please others?  Putting your own needs and desires aside?  Running around like a lunatic, doing what you think you should?  Or what others think you should?  Running the engine of your soul on vapors because you never put any gas in your tank?  An excellent recipe for resentment and resulting rebellious (and often regrettable) behavior, methinks!  Not what I came here for, thanks!

If you're like many people, you may spend the majority of your time doing this.  And probably, you aren't so happy about it, and ironically, those around you probably aren't so happy either, rendering your heroic (but kinda uninspired) efforts nearly useless.

Why do we do this?  Seems to me that we are groomed for it from very early on -- that 'selflessness' is our purportedly noble goal as human beings.  Selflessness.  Selflessness.  That's a pretty creepy sounding word, especially when you look at the definition closely:

"the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good"

GAH!  How can that be a good thing, really?  Yeah, I know, you can conjure up images of war heroes, social workers, saints and sages, giving their all for the benefit of others.  But, wait ...

... I would dare to say that by and large, those people are not being "selfless".  They are being self-full, or possibly even selfish, by definition.  The extreme actions that they are taking, which are benefitting many others, are likely benefitting themselves the most!  They are acting from their soul's passions!  In those moments, whether they are giving up their life, or their time, or their money, it is because they are connecting to their Best Selves and putting it out into the world in the biggest, most incredible way possible.  They are acting from their deepest hearts and taking those chances -- speaking out, starting a business, taking a risk, big or small, doing what their heart knows is the biggest thing they can do, that will make them glad they were born, whatever, comes of it all.  And that inevitably benefits others.  As I'm very fond of saying, it's PHYSICS!

Instead of selflessness, let's try talking about oneness instead.  That sounds soooo much warmer and friendlier.  And then instead of just talking about it, let's do it for just a minute or two here and there, eh?  Hee hee.  For more in the spirit of oneness, please listen to this fabulous song, Amazing, by clicking here.  Thanks to Kim Ryan for telling me about it -- it's now one of my Happy Dance songs every day!

Springtime love & hugs to all -- 

MJ

p.s.  For those of you who have attended my group, Adventures in Meditation -- we'll be on hiatus until August 9th, when I'll resume with a monthly guided meditation group, yippee!!

Living by Example

     I had an interesting conversation with a friend today.  We both have numerous creative urges in life, as well as a fair amount of visible energy.  At one point our talk turned toward:  the question of sharing your experiences with others.  Can you ever effectively 'tell' someone something (insight of any kind) and have it actually be helpful?  Is there a point in doing this?  After all, you can't make someone be where they're not.  You can't make someone feel or understand something they just don't.  You know the saying about bringing a horse to water!  And -- who's to say we're 'right' anyhow?  It's a quandary when you have urges to help, urges to share. 

     However, that being said -- preaching sucks!  Who seriously listens to someone who is preaching, ranting or otherwise shoving their insights down your throat?  Not me.  I usually view that as an indicator to run away, directly.  Nothing is more exhausting and uninspiring that an exasperated person in your face, lecturing you!

     So what do we do?  I've encountered this issue since I started doing talks about meditation.  At first I thought -- who am I to tell anyone else what to do?  And -- everyone knows that preaching at people never helps!  Thankfully, after my first talk, an awfully nice man named George stood up and reeled off a nifty list of compliments to me, ending with "and it's very obvious that you practice what you preach".

     An AHA! moment for me, for sure!  I realized then (and remember it some of the time) that when we have a genuine passion for something, anything, it is ALWAYS highly apparent to others.  When we live true to our passions, in any area, it is inevitably an inspiration to others, without even trying to draw attention to it.  Hmmmmmm.

     What if the next time we see something that we believe is wrong, or needs to be changed or fixed or helped -- what if we stop and take a breath and remember that the best way -- the only  way  -- that we can really help others and affect change for good is to follow the passions of our souls and live by example?  I think we all know the beautiful quote from Mahatma Gandhi -- 

     "Be the change you want to see in the world."

     Okay, okay, I'll stop before I get too preachy.  Happy spring -- asparagus and strawberries are on the way! 

Love from the hammock --

MJ

What is a miracle? Or rather, what isn't?

"There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle." -- Albert Einstein

I wonder what the average person would say if you asked them if they'd ever seen a "miracle" in their life.

Of course, I'm unable to answer that question for anyone but myself -- but in my own ongoing experience, I'm pretty sure that a miracle can be found in any given moment, depending on your focus.  We can choose "miracle", or we can choose "oh, I've already seen that a million times".  

We can curse the dandelions and mow them down, or we can consider each one as a thimbleful of sunny miraculousness (and then mow them down).  We can wake up every morning and grumble about getting up, or we can consider the fact that we woke up at all in the first place!  We can look at our parent, or child, or lover, or dog and consider that maybe we don't really know everything about them.  We can turn a new and present eye to everything around us, for just a minute, now and then.

Take the fact that if you cut yourself on a kitchen knife right now, the cells in your body immediately begin the healing process, all on their own, without you doing anything.  Consider all the workings in your body that go on all day, every day, for your entire life.  How could that be anything short of a miracle?  Just for a minute, imagine all the oceans of the earth and all the life that is going on there, from whales to tiny plankton.  Look at the tree outside your window, that has been standing there for decades, living it's entire life right in front of you, making new leaves every spring, making oxygen every day.  Obviously, this list could go on ... and on ... and on!  People -- animals -- nature -- art -- technology!  Because truly -- is there anything in the world that you could look at, or hear, or touch, or feel, or experience in some way -- that is not a miracle, if you shift your focus for just a moment?  What if we took a break from wishing for 'signs' from the Great Beyond and saw what is right in front of us, every day?  And amazingly, that is our choice to make.  Yay!  

Ok, Pollyanna is getting off the soapbox now.  And in the spirit of impending spring, please click here to watch an incredible bit of film showing some "everyday" miracles around us.  Thanks to Pete Onofrio for bringing it to my attention!  

And please click here to look at the schedule for Adventures in Meditation and upcoming Kirtan dates!  

Miraculously and appreciatively yours!

MJ

Why I Love Chanting

Ok, so it's 4 am, and I'm up writing a column.  Something has to be really calling to me to get me up at that hour, let me tell you.  (Well, that plus the fact that I ate a giant bowl of pasta at 9:30 pm.)  And -- I have been singing a Hare Krishna chant in my sleep for the last 4 hours!

Depending on the scope of your life experiences, when I say "Hare Krishna", you may immediately get a vision of people dancing in orange robes at airports.  I urge you to suspend that vision and read on!

Here's my own take on chanting.  My first real exposure to chanting was through a Deva Premal CD that a friend gave to me.  I liked it.  Sort of.  I put it in my car stereo, and sang to a few of the songs frequently while driving.  It grew on me.  A lot.  After a while, I noticed that I was really looking forward to driving anywhere, so I could chant as loud as I wanted, to the same songs, over and over.  It was fun.  It was uplifting!  Nowadays, I can be found chanting while doing dishes, while doing any housework, while walking the dog (quietly), and especially while driving.  It just makes me feel fabulous -- happy, relaxed, uncluttered in my mind.

The tradition of chanting exists in nearly every culture and/or religion in some form, although the kind that I'm hearing about most these days is Sanskrit chanting.  Deva Premal often features chants from different cultures -- Native American, South American, etc. -- in her recordings.  So, it's everywhere.  And yet, why, you may ask, do you want to start chanting?

Chanting is really a form of meditation -- as is anything that distracts you from your own brain chatter for a period of time.  It will give you a rest from yourself.  It will help you get your evil twin out of the way so that your best self can show up more often.  So, there is that awesome aspect -- and there is the aspect of prayer.  I always find out the basic meaning or translation of chants, so that I have a general idea of the intention behind the words.  It is quite powerful to think that you are singing something that has been chanted by thousands of people for hundreds, or even thousands of years, all having the same intention!  I love that!

The good news is that if you'd like to chant/sing with other people, you can go to a kirtan.  (read more about kirtans and chanting by clicking here)  This is basically a call-and-response concert (from very small groups to very large).  Everybody sings.  An amazing experience that I highly recommend, at least once!  You can keep your eyes closed the whole time if you like, no self-consciousness required!  Many yoga studios hold kirtans.  


And the really exciting news is -- at my next weekly meditation group, Thurs. Feb. 9th at 7:15 pm, 35 Boston Street in Guilford, I am pleased to welcome the young, peaceful and talented Andrew Biagiarelli, for a low-key kirtan!!  A perfect opportunity for you newcomers, as well as the experienced kirtan-goer.  Please email me at mjinsync@yahoo.com or call me at 203-444-5625 if you're planning on coming, so I can get a general head count.   And -- if you still just can't bear the thought of it, please do try some chanting in private.  I won't tell a soul!  

And now, if you find yourself a little more open to the Hare Krishna thing, I invite you to click here to listen to samples from Krishna Das' album, All One.  Translations of Hare Krishna, Hare Rama vary, but it basically means "O Universe, please engage me in your devotional services".  I've just decided that for me it means "holy God, holy Universe".  And that suits me just fine.

Happy Valentine's Day from the hammock!

MJ

The Year of Auspiciousness

Auspicious:  showing or suggesting that future success is likely; attended by good fortune; favorable.

I've always liked 25 cent words (you know, the big ones), and auspiciousness definitely falls into that category.  Love it.  So, why don't we just go ahead and declare this to be The Year of Auspiciousness?  Who can stop us?  Are you with me?

Here's my Auspiciousness Plan:

1.  Keep meditating and Happy Dancing and whatever-ing in the face of any adversity, as much as possible.

2.  Make lots of fun and exciting goals and plans, and simultaneously do my best to give up any need for them to actually happen the way I think they should.  Enjoy the daydreaming; no attachment to outcome.

3.  Remember that the better I feel, the better everyone around me will feel.  I am not doing anyone any favors by suffering.

4.  Keep planting seeds in my own particular way, and encourage others to do so also.

5.  Remember that Everything is Always Working Out, despite how things might temporarily appear, and there is no logical reason for me to assume otherwise.

6.  Eat more leafy green vegetables and escalate my love affair with avocados.  

7.  Remember that I always, always get what I expect.  Practice expecting Extreme Auspiciousness.

Uh oh -- this looks suspiciously like a New Years Resolution List, doesn't it?  And we all know how deadly those can be!  This might be different though, because it's fairly simple, and I'm already somewhat good at doing most of it.  (Although there's always room for more kale.)  Frankly, I think this list is a darned good recipe for -- hey, a Year of Auspiciousness!  Woo hoo! Think I'll throw in a little extra spinach and collard greens for good measure.  And another Happy Dance.  Just in case.

I am wishing everyone a year in which you take some Small Steps toward some Big Dreams!  And let's make the most we can of all the little moments in between, because I suspect that that is what Big Dreams are made of.  Here's to blooming for our own benefit, and therefore for the benefit of everyone else.

And please join me for Adventures in Meditation on Thursday nights from 7-8 pm, at the Shoreline Center for Wholistic Health, 35 Boston St., in Guilford, if you're inclined.  I'm getting pretty darned charged up about it!  Drop in any time.

  

Auspiciously yours,

MJ

What If?

A moment of respite from the impending holiday season.

What if?  One of my favorite questions.  The point being, how often do we ask ourselves "What if", to the negative?

For example:

What if this doesn't go well today?  What if I'm unhappy?  What if something is wrong?  What if they don't like me?  What if it rains?  What if I don't do it right?  What if I can't find a parking space?  What if my partner is in a bad mood?  What if I'm late?  What if every worst case scenario that I can think of actually happens?  (Gotta love the last one.)

If you claim to never think of any of the above, I'm certain that you are either a saint, or you are dead.  Let's just go on the premise that we are all our own worst enemies, and probably think this way far more than we even realize (or would ever admit).  For example, I've noticed that I do this while driving, to a crazy degree.  I constantly anticipate that people will cut me off, drive too slow, endanger me in some way -- that generally speaking, everyone is my adversary on the highway.  

Now, what in the name of Mary Poppins is the point of thinking this way?  Can I seriously consider that something good is going to come of it?  Well, whether you're looking at it scientifically or spiritually, the laws of physics would indicate a big fat NO, in answer to that question!  Like attracts like.  Therefore, why do we want to spend any more of our precious time What If-ing to the negative?

First of all, it feels terrible, yes?  And the bottom line is, when you feel terrible, you cannot be at your best, and you cannot connect with the good in the world.  Second of all, we are not doomed to this thinking.  Hallelujah!  It's simply bad training.  It doesn't matter why or how we started thinking like this, so much of the time.  The point is that you can take back that time, little by little, and retrain yourself.  Why couldn't we ask ourselves, "What if", to the positive?  

For example:

What if I have a great time?  What if they love it?  What if I'm there at just the right moment?  What if everything's fine?  What if it's even better than I thought?  What if s/he is in a great mood?  What if EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT FOR ME?!

Synopsis of this column:  You get what you expect, so be darned careful what you expect.

Thanks to my lovie friend, Lori Blackwell, for planting the seed of What if.  Please watch her uplifting youtube video of her wonderful song,  Got Hope?   This is one of the songs that I do my Happy Dance to.

One last thought -- What if this holiday season was relaxing and peaceful and filled with fabulous people and inspiring moments?  What if I could really eat my weight in chocolate?  Aahhhh, I guess that's going a little too far, eh?

Love & hugs from under the hairdryer (my winter alternative to the hammock),

MJ

Flying Dreams

Everyone has them in some form or another, right?  I don't know what your flying dreams look like to you, but here's what I remember about mine.

I've been having lucid flying dreams ever since I can remember (meaning that I know that I'm asleep while it's happening).  Over the decades, they've progressed and changed quite dramatically.  I used to just use dream flying as an escape from something bad or scary, and it always involved a lot of flapping and physical effort.  It was exhausting!  Gradually, I progressed to less effort-ful flying, and would fly just for fun.  

I remember one dream in particular, where I flew way out into space and was looking back at the planet, and I just started dancing and floating and zooming around, totally happy and blissed out.  After this, I started having dreams about being able to go through walls and objects at will.  Once I dreamed that I very purposely put my hand right through a rock.  In the dream, I had a complete understanding of how I had to feel and what I had to think in order to do it.  And the flying dreams progressed the same way, to the point where I now know exactly the feeling that I have to feel in order to just take off, completely effortlessly and totally happy.

So, that's really great and all, but what the heck does it have to do with anything?  I've read dream interpretation books over the years, but no explanation ever really rang a bell with me about this.  I know they are not 'just dreams'.  But what does this have to do with my waking life?  It seems INCREDIBLY important while I'm asleep, and I have a very strong sense of needing to practice this over and over and over -- but WHY?  I could never quite make sense of it, and I felt a little sad that I didn't know how to bring that fabulous feeling of flying into my 'real' life.

Well, isn't it amazing how we receive answers when we aren't really looking for them?  The other morning (the morning after I gave my yippy skippy Happiness Club talk -- thanks to the 99 of you that came, woo hoo!) I was woken up by my darling doggy right at the point where I was about to just take off and fly.  I still had the feeling of it as I was lying there being mauled and licked by Lizzie.  And I realized, OH, THIS IS WHY I DREAM THESE DREAMS!  I am indeed practicing!  Not to actually fly or walk through a wall, but to bring that feeling into my everyday life as much as I can ...

...And what exactly is that feeling, the feeling of flying?  The way I see it right now, it's a feeling of complete and total absence of any resistance.  A complete letting go.  No effort to control or direct.  An utter relaxation of body, mind and spirit.  Total trust.  Knowing that everything is always working out.  And why do I want to feel that way?  1.  It feels utterly fabulous.  2.  It is a clear connection to my Best Self (which I can then, hopefully, share).  That seems like a good place to start!

I guess I'll see you in my dreams ... hee hee!  Please feel free to share any flying dream stories with me!

Hugs from the hammock (we've moved it into the barn for the winter),

MJ

p.s.  Now that I've been bitten by the Speaking Bug, please let me know if you have a  business or school or group of any kind that might like to hear my Five Minutes to a Better World talk.  IT'S FUN!  And it's free!