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| Adam's tiny traveling house |
A few days ago, my only child (who is not a child at all) drove down the road pulling the awesome trailer pictured here, heading to Oregon with his fiancee -- and I feel certain of only one thing: being a mother is the best and most important job I've ever done or ever will do, and everything else is just frosting.
Mothering is probably the only area of my life that I've always had complete confidence in; don't mess with my kid, I will eat you alive, I am a lioness! I would stand in front of a train for my son, without a thought! I have made a number of dramatic decisions and changes in my past life, which were all run through the filter of parenting. It was always clear to me what was best for us -- what was not acceptable -- what needed to be done -- what needed to change. I've done some really brave things that I would never have had the nerve to do if it was 'just me'. I never wanted to look back and regret that I wasn't there for Adam, or that I'd exposed him knowingly to something that might hurt him in some way.
And looking back, I have no regrets at all. Now it seems to be the time for me to turn that mother lioness eye on myself -- and wonder why I'd ever consider allowing anything in my own life that I would never have allowed for my son, for a minute. I also now have the unknown territory of making decisions that are truly just for me -- and I'd thought I was already doing that! So, I'll just keep practicing, and calling up that mother-lioness-feeling of what is best for me -- and I invite you to do the same! Meanwhile, I'll be planning my first trip to Oregon ...
Love from the hammock,
MJ
Mothering is probably the only area of my life that I've always had complete confidence in; don't mess with my kid, I will eat you alive, I am a lioness! I would stand in front of a train for my son, without a thought! I have made a number of dramatic decisions and changes in my past life, which were all run through the filter of parenting. It was always clear to me what was best for us -- what was not acceptable -- what needed to be done -- what needed to change. I've done some really brave things that I would never have had the nerve to do if it was 'just me'. I never wanted to look back and regret that I wasn't there for Adam, or that I'd exposed him knowingly to something that might hurt him in some way.
And looking back, I have no regrets at all. Now it seems to be the time for me to turn that mother lioness eye on myself -- and wonder why I'd ever consider allowing anything in my own life that I would never have allowed for my son, for a minute. I also now have the unknown territory of making decisions that are truly just for me -- and I'd thought I was already doing that! So, I'll just keep practicing, and calling up that mother-lioness-feeling of what is best for me -- and I invite you to do the same! Meanwhile, I'll be planning my first trip to Oregon ...
Love from the hammock,
MJ
Congratulations to Adam & Margaret, and to YOU! Don't forget the courage it takes to love and protect, and then.... to let go. And to let go again. And again. Who knew you could gain so much by letting go?!
ReplyDeleteWritten so well.
ReplyDelete